Hannah's Death Dream
02 07
One of the questions raised in your book was why some people who may be living 'rough and rowdy' lives end up having positive NDE's, while those who appear to be the nicest and most conservative (from our perspective) sometimes have negative NDE's. I might be able to offer a suggestion based on my daughter Hannah's death dream of her grandmother. I'm very diligent about teaching my kids about spirituality, and was telling them about your response to my e-mail, as well as your book. My kids - I think - understand the importance of little actions and kindness, and death. Our lives appear upside-down to others with our messy house brimming with people from prostitutes to drug dealers, to extremely wealthy people and ministers. I was homeless and on welfare in 1989, and said to the Heavenly Father when I ended up with a house it will be open to everyone, and all who enter may be blessed. Between us, my husband and I have 14 kids. This death dream is about his mother, Mary Magdeline Askew, or "Mag" as we know her.
Mag. What a gal. She was 4'11". She was nicknamed "Half Pint" even as a middle-aged woman. My husband, who she called Willie, said he was often called by the local pub owner to come to the bar and get her, or else she would tear up the joint. She was a gambling, drinking, cussing, don't-mess-with-me kind of lady. Mag was half black and half Black Foot Indian. She had the strong features of an Indian, and was bow-legged, too. She was raised by her Indian mother, a heavy-handed woman, and her grandfather - a black minister who looked white.
After her many years of raising hell, at the ripe age of 60-something, she "got back into church". And what a church lady she was! Black women dress up with fancy hats, clothes, shoes - they are what people used to look like when going to Easter services. What fine ladies they are! She loved God and loved church, and helped everyone. She was tolerant of > everyone, gave every penny away. If it was not for Willie she wouldn't have had a house to live in. Friends of mine who met Mag only once clearly remember her, as you would a living spark who lived as a saintly person. She died quickly from a heart attack. She anticipated her death, but I think she wasn't sure which weekend it would come. I still remember the wail of my husband when he found out. He was with her at the hospital and she was talking just minutes before she died. She died 'alone', away from Willie and his sister Dora, during an x-ray.
Willie was so sad, as you could imagine. I prayed very hard for a death dream for him or someone - for comfort. As it happened, it came to Hannah. Hannah and "Grandma Mag" were very close. Blacks, as I learned, are very open to this phenomenon, and reincarnation. When I spoke to Dora about Hannah's dream, she said "That doesn't surprise me. Momma met with Grandma all of the time in her dreams even while she was old." I was so glad to hear this - and thought it was wonderful that such a wonderful tradition might move to Hannah and her grandmother.
It was a school morning. We decided the kids would go to school since they would miss several days for the funeral. Hannah awoke all bright-eyed and rushed to me, "Mom! I just had a dream about Grandma Mag!!" She proceeded to tell me about it, but I had to take the older kids to school. I told Hannah to turn off the TV, and to think about her dream in silence, and pray that she would remember every detail. I wanted to write it down and save it for her. She stayed home from school! It took 2 hours to write, but I'll give you just a little bit here.
When I returned I wrote as she spoke. (I can't find the notebook I put it in, and I think this is because Mag might not want this written verbatim, as this was kind of a warning she gave. But Hannah thought it was okay that I tell you about it.) I also told Hannah, who is 11, that this was special, and that it was okay for Grandma Mag to come to her, but not okay for Hannah to try to contact Grandma Mag forcibly or anyone else who was dead for that matter. I told her that sometimes this can be unsafe and that we are not trained in this matter. Praying is okay, and talking to her - but I didn't want her to try to create a little seance. So, with that, here are Hannah's words to the best of my recollection:
"Grandma Mag came to me when I was sleeping and gently tapped me on my head. She didn't want to scare me. She said, 'Would you like to come with me to see what Heaven is like?' I said 'yes!'. Grandma Mag came with Mary Elizabeth [her daughter who died as a toddler]. I asked what they looked like. Hannah said, "Grandma Mag looked old and wrinkly like she always did, but she held my hand and took me to Heaven. And Mom, as huge as the bottom of hell is to the top of the stars, way beyond what we can see, that's how far we went. She had to hold my hand because I couldn't fly like she could. We went super-fast the higher we got, and as we went higher, Grandma Mag kept getting younger and younger, until she was Amy's age [Amy is my 17-year old daughter]. Grandma mag had very long hair, almost down to her ankles. And she wore a necklace with crosses on it - a cross after a cross after a cross [like a charm necklace?]. Her dress was pink [chiffon, we determined] and she had sparkly hose with sparkly shoes [Hannah selected these very shoes that Mag wore from her closet - they were, according to the dream - Mag's favorite, but too glitzy for church]. Mary Elizabeth wore 1950's clothes and she had clips in her hair.
[It's interesting to note that Hannah has never seen - nor have I - a photo of Mary Elizabeth, but when telling Willie and Dora and the other siblings about the dream, they all sighed and said, "She always put clips in Mary Elizabeth's hair as a toddler. The other odd thing was that these were not modern day hair clips Hannah described, yet she was adamant about using the word 'clips'.]
Hannah was also given this warning - not to share this dream with everyone because everyone may have a different idea of what Heaven is like. For this reason, we were extremely careful to only tell the siblings and relatives who were given messages, or were mentioned in the dream. I have asked Mag that if her intention is not to share this beyond this e-mail to have something happen which prevents it from being shared farther. But I feel there is a good purpose in sharing it with you. It continues:
"First we went to Grandma Mag's house. Mom - she has a huge mansion! [Mag was very poor on earth, and had a rag-tag house since she was so generous, she spent nothing on herself.] Her house looks just like Nana's! She has pictures everywhere of everyone in our family, and this huge staircase. And guess what, Mom - at the top of the staircase is this big picture of Nana, and it goes from the top of the ceiling to the floor."
[Nana is my mother Susan, who loves to decorate. Mag's heavenly house interior was exactly like my Mom's. Mag had never seen her most recent re-do before she died. My mom is awesome, and is my best friend. She says I'm more ascended, but I don't believe that. Of we two, she most definitely is! Needless to say -my mom was really flattered, and curious about the large photo. What's also weird was that before I learned Mag died I was talking to my mom about the poor condition of Mag's house, and how the people she took in never helped her with anything. I distinctly felt Mag's presence and then felt so bad for my gossip!!! Sorry Mag!! Then Willie interrupted the call to tell me the bad news.]
Hannah went on to describe the house and its rooms. She also said there was a garden and a big pond.
"Then there were people walking to the house. I saw Uncle Duck!" [Hannah often sees Duck sitting in her room, which kind of creeps me out even though I love Ol' Ducky! It just makes me think of the 'Sixth Sense'. He died about 2 years ago, and had both legs amputated. She's never seen him standing, and she remarked at how tall he was with legs.] There was another man with Uncle Duck, but she didn't know who that was. "Grandma Mag said it's time to go to the party. That's why everyone was walking around. We went to the party and everyone was there. There was the guy who hit his head on the windshield [later identified as Craig, a family friend, who died of a brain hemorrage and died in his car.]. "Craig said, 'wow! you've gotten so big since I've seen you last! You're having a dream about Grandma Mag!" Hannah said she saw Martin Luther King, and that he decided that when he died he wanted to be 7 years old again, because that was the most fun time in his life. [Mag died on his real birthday.] "I also saw an Indian chief and his name was I-O-WAe. He sat there on the ground with his arms folded, but I didn't know who he was. I also saw people with magnifying glasses who looked for mummies and stuff in Egypt and they kept looking at me too, really close! Grandma Mag said that she had all of these people here because they were Heroes, and she was a hero too." Hannah had a gospel choir concert the night before the dream, and Grandma Mag (in Hannah's dream) said they all watched it, but were disappointed that she wasn't singing a solo that night. I asked Hannah what made her a hero, and she said, "That's because she wasn't afraid of anything, Mom. Nothing scared her." I'll finish the story, - but that - PMH, is why I sent this to you. Not scared of ANYTHING. She wasn't afraid of big men, of living 'bad'. Even as a saint she wasn't afraid. She didn't even know if she could buy a loaf of bread. And that, perhaps is the cause of positive NDE's by rowdy people. Whereas fear and intrepidation, are perhaps the reason for negative NDE's by cautious, obedient, good people. Living a life of total trust in divine love or living with destructive abandon requires great faith and risk, doesn't it? A big lesson for me. I try to trust and risk, but it is ever enough? The dream continues with family stuff, but a few things might be of interest to you. Hannah said she was able to talk to Jesus and the "Lord" [she always said 'God' before the dream.] Hannah said, "Jesus told me we could have taken your Grandma later, but we thought now was a good time because she didn't want to die in front of everybody. She didn't know she was dead at first." [When Willie called me from the hospital moments after she died, I prayed that my Nana - my lovely grandma on my ex-husband's side - that Nana would escort Mag to Heaven for me. Hannah said Grandma Mag met this nice lady who helped her to find her mansion. She said they didn't know each other before, but now they are neighbors, and I assume that was her.] Hannah also mentioned there was a store there for people to get things they wanted, but they didn't have to go there if they didn't want to and it didn't cost money. She said Grandma Mag had a church of her own there with a wonderful choir. Hannah described the church, and when we later attended the funeral was awestruck to see the church was the one in her dream. We later learned the church where the funeral was held was formerly Mag's grandfather's church in Des Moines. She said Grandma Mag helped people in her own church and even helped a man who was very poor and wanted his mother. Other things happened - like general family advice. It was a great source of comfort for everyone. Through the whole funeral - and PMH, sometime you NEED to go to a black funeral - all I could do was know that Mag was there having a great time with the wonderful music. Black churces call this a 'going home' service. It makes great sense that a race so used to injustice and death defeats it. They are a great spiritual asset to our nation.
Since then, I've had little death dreams. For example, I've asked Mag to babysit the kids for me as I commute an hour from home. Then I had a dream that the kids were all on the floor, and she was there sitting with them. What a funny play on words! Later I dreamed that Willie's brother, who died 2 months ago was with Mag, and 'Junior' as he is called, played a prank on Willie with lottery tickets, and Willie recently won $8,888, which came in very handy after all of these funerals and expenses. But these are just little comforts. Hannah's dream was spectacular, and we learned so much from it. Maybe it will inspire some ideas for you too.
"Then there were people walking to the house. I saw Uncle Duck!" [Hannah often sees Duck sitting in her room, which kind of creeps me out even though I love Ol' Ducky! It just makes me think of the 'Sixth Sense'. He died about 2 years ago, and had both legs amputated. She's never seen him standing, and she remarked at how tall he was with legs.] There was another man with Uncle Duck, but she didn't know who that was. "Grandma Mag said it's time to go to the party. That's why everyone was walking around. We went to the party and everyone was there. There was the guy who hit his head on the windshield [later identified as Craig, a family friend, who died of a brain hemorrage and died in his car.]. "Craig said, 'wow! you've gotten so big since I've seen you last! You're having a dream about Grandma Mag!" Hannah said she saw Martin Luther King, and that he decided that when he died he wanted to be 7 years old again, because that was the most fun time in his life. [Mag died on his real birthday.] "I also saw an Indian chief and his name was I-O-WAe. He sat there on the ground with his arms folded, but I didn't know who he was. I also saw people with magnifying glasses who looked for mummies and stuff in Egypt and they kept looking at me too, really close! Grandma Mag said that she had all of these people here because they were Heroes, and she was a hero too." Hannah had a gospel choir concert the night before the dream, and Grandma Mag (in Hannah's dream) said they all watched it, but were disappointed that she wasn't singing a solo that night. I asked Hannah what made her a hero, and she said, "That's because she wasn't afraid of anything, Mom. Nothing scared her." I'll finish the story, - but that - PMH, is why I sent this to you. Not scared of ANYTHING. She wasn't afraid of big men, of living 'bad'. Even as a saint she wasn't afraid. She didn't even know if she could buy a loaf of bread. And that, perhaps is the cause of positive NDE's by rowdy people. Whereas fear and intrepidation, are perhaps the reason for negative NDE's by cautious, obedient, good people. Living a life of total trust in divine love or living with destructive abandon requires great faith and risk, doesn't it? A big lesson for me. I try to trust and risk, but it is ever enough? The dream continues with family stuff, but a few things might be of interest to you. Hannah said she was able to talk to Jesus and the "Lord" [she always said 'God' before the dream.] Hannah said, "Jesus told me we could have taken your Grandma later, but we thought now was a good time because she didn't want to die in front of everybody. She didn't know she was dead at first." [When Willie called me from the hospital moments after she died, I prayed that my Nana - my lovely grandma on my ex-husband's side - that Nana would escort Mag to Heaven for me. Hannah said Grandma Mag met this nice lady who helped her to find her mansion. She said they didn't know each other before, but now they are neighbors, and I assume that was her.] Hannah also mentioned there was a store there for people to get things they wanted, but they didn't have to go there if they didn't want to and it didn't cost money. She said Grandma Mag had a church of her own there with a wonderful choir. Hannah described the church, and when we later attended the funeral was awestruck to see the church was the one in her dream. We later learned the church where the funeral was held was formerly Mag's grandfather's church in Des Moines. She said Grandma Mag helped people in her own church and even helped a man who was very poor and wanted his mother. Other things happened - like general family advice. It was a great source of comfort for everyone. Through the whole funeral - and PMH, sometime you NEED to go to a black funeral - all I could do was know that Mag was there having a great time with the wonderful music. Black churces call this a 'going home' service. It makes great sense that a race so used to injustice and death defeats it. They are a great spiritual asset to our nation.
Since then, I've had little death dreams. For example, I've asked Mag to babysit the kids for me as I commute an hour from home. Then I had a dream that the kids were all on the floor, and she was there sitting with them. What a funny play on words! Later I dreamed that Willie's brother, who died 2 months ago was with Mag, and 'Junior' as he is called, played a prank on Willie with lottery tickets, and Willie recently won $8,888, which came in very handy after all of these funerals and expenses. But these are just little comforts. Hannah's dream was spectacular, and we learned so much from it. Maybe it will inspire some ideas for you too.
